Every T-Shirt Tells A Story

Don't you hate it...

2005-04-13T19:32:18Z

When somebody says something you weren't supposed to hear to the someone who didn't want you to hear it... and then that second person (who knows you heard it) doesn't have the fucking balls to cowboy up and own up to it? I really hate that. Not so much pissed at what I heard as much as I'm pissed that it was kept a secret from me.

Freestyle From The Freeway

2004-11-01T01:56:56Z

To my decadent yet delicate fan base. It's been a long ass time since I scribbled some shit here. I've been so busy gettin' my blog on at myspace, that I lost sight of this humble, little corner of the web where I got my start. Most of you are all too aware by now of my moodiness as of late. A combination of influences have me feeling like the ugly girl at prom recently. No one wants to dance, but that's okay 'cause the punch is oh so tasty. I'd like to send my happiest halloween wishes to all my favorite girls and goblins out there. I wish I could say I was going to a fabulous party where all the girls in attendance were dressing up like the pussy cat dolls, but alas... I'm chained to this desk. One more week, and I'll be a free man. I predict the coming weekend will find me in even worse spirits though. My out date at MTV coincides with Morgan's escape from L.A. The only time I get out of the apartment is either to go to work or hang out with her. I see many boxer clad/Chinese take out/Sex and the City sessions in my immediate future. But I can't say I didn't see it coming. There's no way in hell this year could have crept by without the annual Craig breakdown. That one month out of the year when I turn into Earnest Hemmingway, grow a beard, lock myself inside, and hate everything. The good news is that all of my usual victims are thousands of miles away and don't have to put up with it anymore. Good for them anyway. I sure could use a night of heavy drinking with the boys to put things into perspective. Midtown Memphis is calling my name. The Blue Monkey, The Young Avenue Deli, Newby's, Gill's, and The Highland Cue. Hell, I'd settle for Whiskey Sours at Chili's on Goodman at this point. Maybe Danny and I could belly up to the bar next to a triumvirate of chubby girls. Well, I'd better get back to work, so I can get the fuck outta here at a decent time. I love you all.

Earnest

What type of social entity are you?

2004-10-03T06:46:14Z

Category IV - The
Musketeer

You have a small, highly edited social group, and
you like it that way.

What Type of Social Entity are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

A Picture For Bama...

2004-09-25T21:45:49Z

I got a new toy today, and I thought I'd swing by the Vista and snap a picture for Bama...

A Quote From Hunter S. Thompson

2004-09-25T00:14:15Z

“George W. Bush does not speak for me or my son or my mother or my friends or the people I respect in this world. We didn’t vote for these cheap, greedy little killers who speak for America today-and we will not vote for them again in 2002. Or 2004. Or ever.
Who does vote for these dishonest shitheads? Who among us can be happy and proud of having this innocent blood on our hands? Who are these swine? These flag-sucking half-wits who get fleeced and fooled by stupid little rich kids like George Bush?
They are the same ones who wanted to have Muhammad Ali locked up for refusing to kill gooks. They speak for all that is cruel and stupid and vicious in the American character. They are the racists and hate mongers among us-they are the Ku Klux Klan. I piss down the throats of these Nazis.
And I am too old to worry about whether they like it or not. Fuck them.”

HST

You gotta love that man.

One of the most dead on impressions I've ever seen...

2004-09-21T22:57:45Z

Click HERE.

You'll laugh 'til you cry... or maybe it's the other way around.

Let's Lick Bush!

2004-09-14T18:21:05Z

Guess who's back?

2004-09-11T20:20:44Z

On this the 3rd anniversary of 9-11... I have a new computer that's clap free. This fucker is fast too. It's nice. I think I'll kick my feet up and stay awhile.

Craiggers

I think I got my doo-rag too tight...

2004-09-08T22:46:39Z

Tuesday saw the end of Dustin and Joseph's visit to Los Angeles. They got in an airport bound cab at around 9:30, and 15 minutes later... I was off to work. It was a light day as we were only finishing up what we hadn't on Labor Day. So by 2:00 p.m. Gary and I were sitting at a table at Wienerschnitzel, scarfing down chili dogs. I got a call from my girl, Bama-loo shortly thereafter. She was down in the dumps and needed a friendly ear. I tried my best to distract her, but I don't know if I helped at all. So here's to ya, Bama. I hope today brings you more of tomorrow and less of yesterday.

I was Mister Popular last night as well. My phone wouldn't stop ringing. Aside from the fore-mentioned foxy four alarm forest fire; I talked to my boss, my dad, Dustin, Jackson, and Gary. I'm also nursing the makings of a potentially wonderful crime drama in this overcrowded cranium I lug around on my shoulders. If my computer at home didn't have the clap, I would be hammering it out right now. Ah, so it is. I'm probably going to the computer store this weekend. That's right. When one girlfriend catches cooties, you dump her ass for a new one. Well I'd better run. Gary's finished the last of his tapes. It's time to hit that oh so long road home, fire up a smoke and some tunes, and holla at the honeys in the crosswalks. Research it!

You got served,
Craig

Hot This Season...

2004-09-06T21:46:01Z

Captain's log star-date 9/6/04

Super D and La Jose came out to La-La-wood this weekend to sample some of that good ole southland living. It's been a weekend of firsts all around. I took the boys for a brief drive on Mulholland. I finally made it down to the 4100, per Tania's suggestion. And I made it into the Formosa for dinner. Overall it's been a great weekend, Saturday night being the highlight. Dustin went out to meet up with a friend while Joe-banger and I went to the 4100 for a few drinks. The Jose got a little crunked up (to quote my good friend, Danny), and I got my flirt on with a few ladies inside. But my home skillet Dustin got his freak on. I've been out here for eight months and already he's gotten more L.A. ass than I have. But me and The Jose were happy for him. D met up with us at the 4100, and we all left to get a bite at the Denny's by my place. It was an eerily familiar scene. Three guys, all a little tipsy, sitting over heaping plates of food and being a bit too loud. I was waiting for Jose to stand up on the table, screaming, "You're all growns up!"

Now, I'm at work. Yeah, I had to come in on Labor Day. We're pretty much the only people here, and there's no A/C. We're all sweating like characters in a southern courtroom drama, and sex is the primary topic of conversation. So far... Gary is doing the best job of dealing with the heat. I, on the other hand, have reached the end of my rope. It's a tough spot to be in when you're trapped in a 90+ degree room with sex talk... especially when it's coming from females. All my peeps say a prayer or two for me because I'm in for a long ass day.

Email

2004-08-31T19:32:08Z

My damn email's not working because EPE decided they wanted to revamp the site. So I won't be able to check my inboxes until tomorrow. Don't that just suck? It isn't bad enough that my only access to the internet is now at my work... once I get to work, I can't check my mail.

In The Can

2004-08-23T19:51:55Z

I wrapped my first acting gig in L.A. this weekend. Gary's short film "A Good Story". We shot an unprecedented 29 pages in two days, 27 of which we hammered out on day one. It was easily the most fun I've had since I moved out here. Acting for the camera is a weird adjustment. I may have over compensated by playing all the close ups a little stiff. At least it felt that way to me. So Gary's got two and a half hours worth of raw footage that he now has to edit down to 30 minutes... roughly. Just watching the playback after each take was impressive. I'm curious to see how the audio turned out. There might be some looping to do in post. Man, I'm too Hollywood for you right now. So here's hoping that I'll have a copy of the finished product on DVD in the not too distant future. "It's a beautiful day in the Holly-Hood, a beautiful day in the Holly-Hood. It's a beautiful day in the HOLLY-HOOD, so don't you be... a hater."

I've got to get back to work, my lovelies and not so lovelies.

Later,
Snagglepussy

Woody Allen...

2004-08-12T06:19:22Z

...said in Annie Hall that Hollywood is so clean because they don't throw their garbage away... they turn it into television shows. I'm slowly realizing how true this is. The general premise is usually halfway interesting, but where the hell do they find these people? How does zero personality equal entertainment gold? But what the hell do I know?

Just another "misguided" liberal,
Snaggledowry

P.S. Britney Spears has fallen from grace. Somebody needs to fuck some sense into her. I guess I'll have to take one for the team... after all it's for the good of the country.

Holy Monkey!

2004-08-09T22:11:43Z

I just got back from my first day of work at MTV, and all I've got to say is "DAMN"! This is easily gonna go down in history as the coolest job I've ever had. This place puts Seacrest to shame. I've got a little ID badge that gives me access to the building... and the girls... I gotta get me some of that MTV ass.

Yesterday's News

2004-08-07T06:15:25Z

"They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people... and neither do we."

Preach it, Prez!

Seacrest...OUT!

2004-07-29T20:50:31Z

So the show got cancelled. Yesterday was my last day, but there's a party thing tonight from 5-7. Ryan's buying everybody cocktails. So I said two hour open bar... shit yeah. And my name appeared in the credits of yesterday's episode, thanks to Will Fan. So I'm leaving on a high note. I just hope this thing at MTV pans out. Maybe I should follow Gary's example and email this guy to find out whether I'm hired. Anyway things are good.

You ever get that feeling when your buttons are being pushed? It's so immature, and you know you should just shake it off and laugh about it. But for some reason beyond your control the button pushing is working. But at least you come out of it having seen the pusher's true colors. Now you know what they're really made of. Oh well I got drinking to do. I ain't worried about it. So until next time....

Horton... OUT!

Which cult classic badass are you?

2004-07-29T05:16:21Z

Memphis Sissy

2004-07-22T10:01:39Z

For anyone who gives a shit I've just finished the eighth song of what will come to be my fourth un-produced album, which I'm tentatively calling Memphis Sissy. And you guessed it... I'm gonna post the lyrics. But first I'm gonna give you a brief Storytellers style rundown on where it came from. After my night of debauchery at the Key Club and my unfulfillable crush on the cocktail waitress, I came to a realization. Every time I go to a bar, I inevitably fall for the waitress as opposed to my countless female counterparts... there to drink and enjoy the company of their friends. So I thought I'd write a song about it since I'm venturing into that oh-so-foreign territory of the humorous live song. But I think this time I've successfully managed to marry that style with my pre-established bitterness.

Money to Spend

This happens all the time
A beer ago I was fine
But now I'm a sip away from shameless
All you girls are out
'Cause I've got it narrowed down
To the one behind the bar or the waitress
Close your eyes and count to ten
By then I'll be in love again
And she can't run away 'cause she's at work
I can never tell
If she means something else
When she offers me dessert

Chorus:
It's been said time and time again
That nice guys finish last and the bad guy always wins
'Cause if she's got a choice between the two types of boys,
Who the hell do you think she's going home with?
So take my credit card and charge
Another round for me and my friends
That's right, I might be a nice guy
But I'm sexy as hell 'cause I've got money to spend

You know I don't believe
The complimentary things
Spilling from her lips
That's just what I call
"Stripper talk"
I'm nothing more to her than another tip
But let's just pretend
That I really am
The cutest thing she's ever seen
If I consumed
A stick of gum or two
Do you think she'd make out with me?

Repeat Chorus

So bring me another drink
It'll give me time to think
Of the perfect thing to say when she comes back
But I've always been a crummy flirt
So just in case it doesn't work,
I better be ready to make her laugh
(So I say)
"If you're gonna hit on me
Just for the tip I leave
You might as well reach into my pocket
Then we'll both come out of it
With what we set out to get
A cheap thrill for the contents of my wallet"

Repeat Chorus

I've got another one here for you as well. I finished this one a while ago, but never posted it because I was too busy doing my left wing rant thing.

Gates of Graceland

The Christmas decorations
Are still up at Graceland
Complete with a hundred watt nativity scene
So she digs through her closet
And pulls out a jacket
That she hasn't worn since she was seventeen
There's a letter in the pocket
From a time she'd forgotten
When love was still an endless possibility
She unfolds the pages
And she slowly traces
Every single word with her finger as she reads

The notes that we wrote on the gates of Graceland,
When we were young enough to be so dumb,
Have long since faded
And, baby, that's okay
'Cause no one read them anyway

That semester in Southaven
When I was waiting tables
And my love life and I couldn't agree on anything
She would wash her Mustang
Every Friday afternoon
In her bare feet and a pair of cut off jeans
The kind with the pockets
That hang out the bottom
I think you know the ones that I mean
With a bucket full of suds
And a little, pink sponge
She was easily the cutest thing I'd ever seen

The notes that we wrote on the gates of Graceland,
When we were young enough to be so dumb,
Have long since faded
And, baby, that's okay
'Cause no one read them anyway

She was all legs and lip gloss
Showing her stomach off
Between her jogging shorts and a baby-doll tee
So I thought I'd ask her out
Over brunch at Waffle House
But she shot me down before I had a chance to speak
That's when me and my love life
Finally saw eye to eye
And we both agreed this girl was out of my league
So to those of you who dare to dream
I say, choose your battles carefully
Don't break your heart to make a mark no one will ever see

The notes that we wrote on the gates of Graceland,
When we were young enough to be so dumb,
Have long since faded
And, baby, that's okay
'Cause no one read them anyway

Well that's it for now. So to all those West Texas girls, just like me... I say goodnight.

Hail to the Theif

2004-07-18T08:08:48Z

Saw Fahrenheit 9/11 today. The fact that anyone could see this movie and come out of it saying that Michael Moore hates America makes me laugh. I haven't cried this much at the movies since Passion of The Christ. All my life I've stayed away from political issues. Hell I never registered to vote until two or three weeks ago. I was just like all the other good, little automatons and believed everything the media told me. I believed Oswald acted alone, I believed three satan worshiping teenagers from West Memphis, Arkansas killed three eight year old boys in 1993, and I believed (for some reason) there was some connection between Sadam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden. I got behind the war. Yeah, let's kick some Iraqi ass! After all, those fuckers indirectly crippled my favorite skyline in all the country, right? They're stockpiling weapons of mass destruction, right? America's not safe anymore, right? There are going to be terrorist attacks at the polls on election day, right? Well, I've opened my eyes and seen, first hand, how many others still have their eyes closed... and I'm very very pissed off. I refuse to follow blindly anymore. I refuse to sit still/not talk back/chew with my mouth closed at the banquet table in the Kingdom of Fear! Call me whatever the fuck you want. Call me unpatriotic simply because I question our nation's leader.

A lot of people are up in arms over this movie. A lot of people say that Michael Moore doesn't play devil's advocate enough, and that it's a slanted and biased depiction of events.... To that I say the same thing he does. If you want the other side of the story... turn on your fucking TV. Particularly FOX news. A lot of people are calling him a liar. Well, I grant you the fact that it's edited together in a humorous and entertaining way. But the shit's on tape. You can't argue with the facts. And for the people who say he hates America... I pity you. If you refuse to see the movie because you disagree with Moore's politics, fine. At least when I boycotted Phone Booth, it was because Schumacher hasn't made a decent movie since A Time To Kill and didn't have anything to do with the fact that he's gay. So to the far reaches of the right wing, I say... take that "love it or leave it" mentality and trade it in for some new material. Ha, I bet you thought I was gonna say shove it up your ass! But I didn't.

FREE THE THREE!
Craiggers

Score one for the Left!

2004-07-14T21:45:30Z

Any time you plead with a right wing senator or representative to stop being such a bigot and let gay couples enjoy the same rights that everyone else does. He/she inevitably comes back with the same lame ass easy out of an answer.... Gay marriage laws differ from state to state, so take it up with your local state government. This might be a halfway reasonable answer if those same fucking discriminatory assholes weren't trying to ratify the U.S. Constitution, adding an amendment that would ban gay marriage. Sounds pretty federal to me. But fear not, open minded people everywhere... be you liberal or dare I say conservative. This early stage Nazi-esque move was shot down in the senate today. Reassuring me that as fucked up as things are right now... America just ain't quite ready for fascism yet. We will not go gentle into that good night. And for those half-believers hiding behind a mask of Christianity and spouting off about Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13.... I say check out Leviticus 18:19 and 20:18, and then tell me what's up, bitch! Not to mention the fact that it's Old Covenant, baby, and has already been fulfilled. So it's good for a history lesson, but that's about it. Unless of course you don't believe that Jesus of Nazareth was the Messiah, in which case... convert to Judaism, be happy, and leave Christianity alone. I'm a Lefty, a big fan of Jesus, and a patriot to boot. ACT LIKE YA KNOW!

Horton... OUT!

The Godfather

2004-07-04T11:06:31Z

I wake up to a ringing phone Friday morning. I groggily answer, "Hello?" The voice on the other end belongs to Jackson.... "My condolences," he says. To which I obviously respond, "What?" Then he says, "The Godfather is dead." To which I respond, "What the hell are you talking about?" Bear in mind I just woke up. Then he goes on to tell me that he heard, on the way to work, that Marlon Brando died. Needless to say it totally fucked me up. I couldn't believe it. First Robert DeNiro has prostate cancer, and now this. Of course Bobby's gonna be okay because they caught it early. Regardless of how you feel about "The Method", this is a major blow to most young male actors. Well, most young male actors who are aware that great acting existed prior to the 1980's. I myself have never, despite my endless efforts, been able to understand or singularly define "The Method". What the fuck is method acting anyway? Depending on who you ask, you'll get different answers. Most will talk about emersing one's self totally in the character, almost to the point of forgetting who you are. Most of the great method actors have been labeled as eccentric or difficult to work with. But as pretentious as most method actors seem, Strasberg always related "The Method" back to Stanislavski. And I've never read anything in Stanislavski's works to suggest that one should "be" the character. If I'm playing a drug dealer, I'm not going to go out and sell cocaine to school kids to better understand the inner workings of a pusher. DeNiro refused to associate with Albert Brooks on Taxi Driver because Travis Bickle would never associate with Tom in real life. While I respect that choice, it's not something I would do... and dare I say... something Stanislavski would do either. I don't think it's essential to modify one's own behavior to match the character's behavior in order for the performance to be "real". Stanislavsi talks about "sense memory". This concept alone contradicts the idea that an actor must be familiar with a character's world to play him/her. This is not to say that I don't believe in research. I do. I also believe in altering my physical appearance for a role, a la DeNiro in Raging Bull. I'll shave my head, grow a beard, gain or lose weight, and even apply prosthetics for a role. But that's more of a personal thing than a universal idea.

I guess all this stems from my constant attempts to define myself as an actor. Am I a method actor? Am I a character actor? Do I develope a character from the outside in or vice versa? At Lindenweird I was always talking shop. First with the older guys like Kahler and Rowan and eventually with the likes of Klingler and Anthony. And as rewarding or unfulfilling as those conversations were, depending on who I was talking to, I realized that every actor has his own "method". Naked K and I talked endlessly about the different "schools" of acting. Many people develope one character and simply plug him/her into whatever they're doing at the time. Of course then they constantly bitch about being type cast. Many people are more performance based, and they play a character 40 feet wide and only an inch deep. But in the end it all comes down to the fact that you cannot teach talent. It's something you either have or not. Talent is like a solid foundation that you can build on. You learn technique, and construct your method to suit your individual talent. You read and take classes, using the ideas that work for you and tossing aside the ones you don't agree with. The bottom line is this.... Regardless of his method, Brando was one of the most talented actors of the 20th century. He made unique choices and trusted his instincts, further proving one of my favorite Reederisms; "There is no such thing as acting... only reacting."

Horton... OUT!

Get ready for the new school

2004-07-03T10:21:22Z

I went down to the Vista today to see Spider-Man 2. I was a little upset with myself for not seeing it Wednesday, but I got over it. I'm coming out of retirement for one night only. The Movie Guy is back with a review.

Spider-Man 2:
After Daredevil and The Hulk and the trailer to the upcoming Catwoman, my faith in the "comic book" movie was fading fast. But any doubts I had about the future of this genre were squashed today. The Spider-Man sequel has taken it's place with the two existing X-Men movies, Tim Burton's Batman, and the Superman series as one of the greatest comic book adaptations in history. While I am obligated to love the first movie only because I am a die hard Spider-Fan, I definitely had issues with it. While I thought Tobey Maguire made an excellent Peter Parker, I felt his portrayal behind the mask left a little to be desired. And the attractive yet approachable Kirsten Dunst is more of a Mary Jane in some of her other films than she is in Spider-Man. James Franco, still high on the success of his portrayal of James Dean, carried a few too many of Dean's mannerisms into the Harry Osborn character. The only character that really seemed genuinely true to the comic was J. Jonah Jameson, wonderfully played by one of my newest favorite character actors; J.K. Simmons. But all in all it was so close to remaining accurate, that you have to let it squeak by.

Now on to the sequel. After seeing it I was suddenly aware of two facts. One: The Hollywood studio system is full of artless, capitalist pigs who wouldn't know anything creative unless it was picking their pockets. And two: Any influence those assholes had on the first one was absent from the sequel. Yes, this movie is more Sam Raimi's baby that Sony Pictures'. This movie stayed so true to the comic that there were moments I almost broke down into tears. Maguire is so heartbreakingly wonderful in his presentation of Peter Parker, that it almost feels as if they recast the role and Peter is actually playing himself. James Franco has ditched the Deanisms and breathed a new life into Osborn. The chemistry between Maguire and Dunst is a little better, but it really gets cooking toward the end of the movie. In fact the plot brings Mary Jane closer to where she is in the comics these days. Doc Ock has never been one of my favorite villains, but Alfred Molina gives him a humanity that you don't see in the comics too often. Simmons has fine tuned his Jameson almost to the point of convincing me to pack up and leave L.A.

Raimi has taken many of the most wonderful aspects of the comic and splashed them up on the screen without worrying about people who know nothing of the Spider-Man mythology. The fact that Dr. Curt Connors has a small part in it proves that Raimi was not afraid to exclude non Spidey fans. That being said, I don't feel that he has. One doesn't have to know that Connors later becomes the Lizard to enjoy the movie. But where as the studio would've suggested that the character be changed to some generic professor to keep EVERYBODY in the loop, Raimi says "fuck that" and keeps the Spider-Man universe in tact... without confusing those not in the know. There were so many tips of the hat to the comic that sent my stomach swirling, almost like the feeling you get when you're first falling in love with someone. The shot of the costume in the trash can and Peter walking away made me tear up a little. The entire subway sequence had me on the edge of my seat and then tearing up. I felt like such a sissy watching this movie, because I haven't choked up this much since My Girl.

Raimi also lays the groundwork for upcoming story lines. First he introduces Dr. Connors, then he hints at the return of the Green Goblin. And he even gets the ball rolling on Peter and M.J.'s future together.

My only problem with the movie is the same problem I have with all comic book movies these days. Why is it crucial to kill off every villain. Okay, I understand that the Goblin had to die in the first one. That's a given. But what about the characters that have been around since the beginning. Sabertooth bought it in the first X-Men movie (Though I'm still keeping my fingers crossed). These characters aren't expendable. The hero can defeat the villain without killing him. That's why all the comic books have maximum security prisons and sanitariums. Because inevitibly down the road some arch nemesis escapes, and the hero has to go to battle with them again. Doc Ock and Spidey have been doing battle for years. And they're so familiar with each other, that the defining aspect of their relationship is Octavius's extreme distaste for Spidey's sense of humor. There's nothing better than Spidey constantly teasing him as they are beating the hell out of each other, further infuriating Doc Ock. It's the best. So why kill him off when you could bring him back later? I mean I realize that the Spidey franchise will probably die off after three or four movies. Then if they do make more, some new director will come on and change everything that Raimi has established. So it's like starting over. But hell... James Bond has been around forever. Why not start a few new ongoing series? Comic book adaptations lend themselves perfectly to that. Just a thought.

Oh well. In closing, let me just recommend this movie to anyone and everyone with a twenty burning a hole in their respective pockets. Get a few snacks, get a good seat, and get ready for the savior of the "comic book" movie.

Of course Catwoman will probably send them back down the shitter, but we'll see.

This is the Movie Guy signing off...
Clarence Worley

P.S. I found out Marlon Brando died today. More on this later, because I have a lot to say about it. But right now I'm too high on how fucking awesome Spider-Man 2 was.

Who Wants a Moustache Ride?

2004-07-02T02:23:05Z

I had an update, but I left it in my comment to Danny. I'm girl crazy anymore. I guess it's because I haven't fed the beast in so long. Whenever you find yourself in a sex drought, that's when girls you've lusted after in the past come out of the wood work. Telling you how cute you are, and you probably could've hit that back in the day. If you'd only known. Of course that's the last thing you wanna hear, because something always stands in your way of collecting those "back taxes". With interest. Whether it be geography, a current boy friend, or dissimilar taste in music; some form of booty barrier holds you at bay. Back at Lindenweird, when I was spittin that sensitive shit that makes the ladies jump out they draw's, I never knew I had such a "ponytail" following. I should've taken advantage of that while I had the chance. Oh well, you live... you learn. Later.

Horton... OUT!

Breathe Again

2004-06-28T02:51:57Z

So these are some lyrics that I started about a year ago, and I just finished them last night. Here goes.

Breathe Again

When all is said and done
I just wanna breathe again
Forget the empty machine I've been
And let myself let go
I wanna close my eyes
And trust the ground beneath my feet again
Fall back on some easy friends
And leave myself alone

Is it worth the work it's gonna take
To keep all the promises I made
When I could just save you the wait
And break them all today
Tell yourself anything you like
Add me to the endless list of guys
Who came before me
Promised you the world and walked away
But whatever you do
Don't tell yourself the truth
I'm sure the problem isn't you
The next guy's bound to stay

I'll never fall in love
With a girl like you again
Tobacco hair and honey skin
And whiskey colored eyes
A Jack-o-lantern smile
That doesn't even begin
To hide the self-made mess you're in
It's a pitiful disguise

Is it worth the work it's gonna take
To keep all the promises I made
When I could just save you the wait
And break them all today
Tell yourself anything you like
Add me to the endless list of guys
Who came before me
Promised you the world and walked away
But whatever you do
Don't tell yourself the truth
I'm sure the problem isn't you
The next guy's bound to stay

Look what I've become
A stupid love sick kid again
Who desperately pretends
To be somebody else
I tell myself some lies
And smoke my last three cigarettes
I wish like hell I'd kept
The promise I made myself

Is it worth the work it's gonna take
To keep all the promises I made
When I could just save you the wait
And break them all today
Tell yourself anything you like
Add me to the endless list of guys
Who came before me
Promised you the world and walked away
But whatever you do
Don't tell yourself the truth
I'm sure the problem isn't you
The next guy's bound to stay

So there you have it. The latest in Craig's notebook filled with rhymes. Over and out....

Elmo Mood

Insert Danny's wonderfully hilarious Carly Simon spoofed subject line here....

2004-06-14T08:44:41Z

You walked in the chat room, like you were walking onto a yacht.

"Oooooh, Ingrid Bergman.... An LM, definitely."

You know, I love this site. As E-V-I-L as it is... it sure is fun. All these little inside jokes. This tight little group of friends, cleverly encoding certain things in their entries. That way, we all get them out there, but not everybody is clued in to exactly what the hell you're talking about. We all do it. And even if we don't have the Little Orphan Annie decoder ring, we can still spot one when we see it. You all know what I'm talking about. When you're reading someone's post, and you hit that spot where you go; "What the fuck?". Some of them are even too disguised. I'm probably the most guilty of this. 'Cause sometimes I re-read older entries of mine, and I get to that spot where I go; "What the fuck?". Then sometimes they're not disguised enough. That's when you get a call later in the day, and the person on the other end goes; "What the fuck?". But not really in a confused manner as much as a venomous "do we need to have a talk" manner. You see I've just resurfaced from digging around in the archives, and not just my own. And I laugh my ass off at some of the immature shit I was writing last year. Of course I WAS Jimmy the Kid. All the little disputes and secrets and suggestive comments and the like. I also think we're all guilty of reading what we want into certain things, subconsciously turning them into disputes and secrets and suggestive comments and the like when they're anything but. I don't know about everybody else, but when I log on and see a post of mine remains "comment free"... there's that really childish side of me that shouts, "What the fuck? What's wrong with what I wrote that it doesn't warrant a comment?" Then I realize that I don't comment on every post, so I get over it and go to my other favorite site. It's like this on going soap opera, but at the end of the day... we all still love each other, and everything comes up roses. I love you all, and to all I say, keep those inside jokes and secret messages coming. I fancy myself something of a detective, chasing clues to solve the mystery. "Keep on runnin', playa... cuz I got my gooood shoes on."

Happy Posting (and other spreadable meats),
Captain Detective Colonel HollyWadd "the Kid" PussyHat